Thank goodness I’m not a cat. Curiosity is the spice of my days. My other favorite spice is humor.
We’ve had a lot of company this summer, and from my freezer’s appearance, no one would ever guess that it’s well organized! So a couple of times guests have rearranged the freezer to make their own additions fit.
Before the collards in my garden had grown, I often sautéed frozen spinach to wrap in a tortilla with feta and tempeh for lunch. I’d put the rest of the spinach back into the freezer, an elastic band around the bag. When we got back from Boston a few days ago, I searched for and finally found an already-open spinach bag in the freezer, poured canola oil into a pan, removed the elastic band, dumped the spinach in. . .oops! It wasn’t spinach. It was blueberries soon to be sautéed! I couldn’t stop laughing!
Decision time. I did leave them in the pan, searched and found actual spinach, mixed it into the blueberry blobs, added tempeh, soy sauce, vinegar, and almond butter, then taco and feta, hmmm, some combinations are hard to imagine ahead of time. I sat down to lunch, anticipating a taco that no one had ever before made, bit in, and couldn’t even taste the blueberries.
When I shopped at Sendik’s later on that day, a friend saw me and asked, “What are you doing without the Fitness Center?”
“Oh, you missed me, huh? Well, I’ve been away.” I kept on walking, then thought, we were gone only five days, no one’s going to notice I’m not at the Fitness Center, turned around and said, “You’re not teasing?”
“It’s closed,” he replied. It was flooded, and won’t reopen till September 1. So what will I do to keep my muscles toned? I can walk, bike, but the weight machines I can’t replace.
The next time I walked to Pick ‘n Save, I bought a little more than I’d usually carry, a gallon of vinegar for one side, a half gallon of milk and one of orange juice for the other, plus bananas, grapes, yogurt. After all, that was less than 35 pounds, which is what I usually lift on the machines. However, I sit on the machines, a bit different from walking a third of a mile carrying weights. I won’t try that again, though I did make it home. I just googled it: the milk plus juice was a bit under 17 pounds, with rest of groceries, about 25, I’d rather use the machines.
My blueberry story reminds me something I wrote in 1993. Here’s an excerpt:
LAST NIGHT, SURE OVERCOOKED BROCCOLI IS SOFT,
I DUMPED A POTLOAD INTO THE TOILET,
THEN DISCOVERED IT WOULDN'T GO
I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING,
SEEING THAT BOWL FULL,
KNOWING I PUT IT IN,
SO I HAD TO TAKE IT OUT.
I WONDERED IF ANYONE ELSE IN THE
HISTORY OF THE WORLD
HAD STOOD AT A TOILET BOWL WITH TONGS
AND REMOVED PIECE AFTER PIECE OF BROCCOLI.