Yet not to hurry.
I’ve quite recently begun to recognize that I might fit into that classification of “old man.” Too many documents that I must put into use on a daily basis indicate the decades gone by. Each visit to a medical clinic requires that I give my date of birth.
Future plans call for shorter and shorter time spans. The new roof on the house, I’m told will last at least 10 years and perhaps as long as 15. Then of course, I won’t have to worry about its replacement for if I were around, my age would have to be measured in three digits.
I try now to avoid “time” in specific measureable units such as years, months and even weeks. Today, yesterday and tomorrow seem reasonable. Spring and summer seem to be pleasant time spans but autumn and winter strike as somewhat punitive designations.
I look forward to the sunrise especially as it passes through thin groupings of clouds. But of course, it’ s not the sun that passes. It is the earth and those of us of the earth that do the passing. Did you hear that “so-and-so” passed? And still, someone exclaims “I’m a great grandfather again.” There’s much coming and going.
Until recently I felt more the observer than a participant, especially without grand children let alone great grand children to anticipate, previously a younger participant and more recently the observer. I prefer observer at this end than participant in the parade of those passing through.
This is perhaps the first day that I’ve given reality to these sublevel thoughts; although I’m anxiously working on providing an endowment to my former university and school that in a sense I brought to this place.
At the same time, I’ve designed a three-story high sculpture that requires location and must be placed within “a still in progress” courtyard of that School and as soon as possible.
For I need to see it in place “long before the roof gives out.” Most of those I’m working with have longer “timespans” than I have especially as to when we need the project’s completion.
In this type situation there’s a negative term often prescribed to people with my anxieties and not always spoken aloud: “an old man in a hurry.”