What Did Your Taxes Get You?

I figured out that each of the four rooms in my little Snow White house costs me $66 a month in taxes. They aren’t even that nice. It makes me wonder at tax time, “What am I doing here?” I think Shorewood is a great place on each side of a great avenue, don’t get me wrong, but without a school aged child or sidewalk plowing I’m starting to reconsider. If I’m paying that much for my four "spaces" (as they call rooms on HGTV) then I need a little more bang for my buck. I need the turf in my yards replaced with something I don’t need to mow, weed, or get neurotic about. I need new lighting inside and out, maybe something that won’t rust, and so distinctive that it would just scream "Shorewood taxpayer!" Now where could I get outdoor lighting like that, hmmmm? I need more places to walk in my house; all I have are four worn pathways that cross in the middle of my dining area. Maybe a nice plaza...

I could use someone to rinse out my cans and plastic containers. That’s a benefit that should come with residency. Cat food cans, especially, are no fun to clean; the same with tomato paste, peanut butter jars and syrup bottles. I’ve actually stopped eating that stuff rather than have to deal with scrubbing the smeary remains off the sides and unreachable bottoms.

If you don’t mind, Shorewood, will you stop plowing my trash container in? Spring will come soon enough. It’s fine with me if you just take the stuff in all the bags I lean against those dark green plastic sides. March will be here and then when it freely rolls, deal with it. The pile of snow in front of the kart actually acts like a footstool for me, so I kind of like it. Did you know that a person only about five feet tall can’t really lift a heavy trash bag high enough to get it over the edge of the stupid kart? I have to open the top with one hand and hold it so it won't slam down before tossing the bag over the side with the other. Prior to the big snow falls, I usually end up standing face to face with a garbage bin that comes up to just below my shoulders. I end up slamming the side of the kart with the ripping, dripping bag, again and again like a middle school bass drum player as I try and fail to get enough height to clear. I don’t know how the neighbors have kept from laughing this long. Maybe they haven’t. I wouldn’t blame them.

One more thing I’d appreciate my tax dollars be used for is to reline the parking spots over at Pick n Save. Because they aren’t angled, it’s way too easy to back straight up into another person backing straight up and there you are stuck together mumbling and in everyone’s way, which is just about anywhere in that crazy lot. So can’t we use a bit of tax money for some white paint and liners who specialize in artistic parallel slant?

Our schools are doing well enough for us to ignore for a few years. There are so many other, more personal ways to make Shorewood stand out from the rest. What would make your life better? The American people are crying for change.

Might as well throw in your two cents worth.

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