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And the Bronze Goes to...Fonzie?

I don’t know what to make of the Fonzie structure in downtown Milwaukee. We are now honoring fictitious characters from sit coms? There aren‘t enough real heroes to worship? How pitiful is that. Surely we can find modern day real heroes to idolize. Maybe Clay Aiken or the winner of Top Chef? They wouldn’t have to be made of something as durable as bronze, we could make them out of wood or paper mache so when The Enquirer uncovers that they are actually scoundrels, their icons can be ripped out of the ground and destroyed.

Let’s just say we go with this make believe idol stuff. Can’t you just imagine bronze book figures scattered throughout Shorewood? It would be kind of fun; reminders of the good times. Maybe The Little Engine That Could would inspire people trying to find a place to park on Oakland Avenue, or Goldilocks in the porridge section of Pic and Save might encourage good breakfast habits. Clifford the Big Red Dog might look nice with raised leg outside the Vet’s office, Curious George looking down from the roof while the guy in the yellow hat is stuck and waving his arms on the island where Capitol and Oakland cross. Naughty little Junie B. Jones could be made to lie in the gutter of a loading zone, saving a place for bronze Harry Potter who stopped off at Schwartz to look in the potion chapter of the latest book in a series called How to Make a Fortune Off Little Kids and Getting Their Parents to Thank You For It. Everywhere we go we will see them, a bronze population giving us security in knowing they’ll never change and we shall be forever young. Think about the possibilities. Little Red Riding Hood in the reception area of the assisted living building going up where the Riverbrook once was, and a nice big wolf in one of the beds down the hall.

The Boomers might find amusement in the resurrected characters of oldie but goodie, TV shows. They would enjoy finding Lucy Ricardo at the Brit, dressed like a man, trying to speak with an English accent so Ricky, who is at one of the tables doesn’t realize she’s there for Karaoke night because she has to win money to replace a conga drum she accidentally dropped out of the apartment window. Ethel and Fred would be outside, listening through the window with a glass swearing they won’t get involved.

Shorewood High School could introduce their campus with a bronze Wally, Eddie Haskell, Lumpy and the Beaver. They would be sitting around a table-clothed dinner table with a wise suit-wearing Ward and domestic pearl-necklaced June, constant reminders of what a real family looks like. Okay, I know. This is a little bit out there and probably wouldn’t work out as cool as it looks in my head.

Know what I mean, Milwaukee?

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