Kids love dandelions. When the flowers bloom they gather bouquets, and later on in the season they blow feathery spores and watch them float away. Fifty years ago no one questioned this. Things have changed, not for kids, they still love their bouquets, but for adults, some adults. I heard one recently rave, “I hate dandelions, I hate dandelions, I HATE dandelions!”
After World War II corporations wanted to find a new use for the chemical weapons they had developed and decided dandelions were excellent enemies. So these entities called corporations taught everyone who would watch their ads that enemies, called dandyLIONS, CRAB grass and QUACK grass, LAMBS quarter, creepy Charlie, purple clover, lurked on their lawns. They didn't mention that clover hosts bacteria that take free nitrogen from the air and make it available to plants. And they didn't mention that weapons of war, even weapons of a war on weeds, cause collateral damage.
After a dinner that included puns, poems, and good food, five of us settled into the car for the ride back to Shorewood. Gloria couldn’t find her seat belt, and our designated driver said, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll drive carefully.”
“Didn’t you drive carefully coming here, even though everyone was belted?”
“Yes, but I’ll drive extra slowly now.”
“Oh, if I’d known I could get you to drive slowly, I’d have made sure you knew that Adolph wasn’t actually wearing his belt.”